Not so long ago, in a galaxy far far away (from Star Wars), there was a planet called Earth and on this planet was an odd country named India. Why are we talking about it? Because if you are a fan of the Star Wars saga, you will love what comes next.

Or as Yoda might put it, “Star Wars characters and Indian politicians, much in common have they.”

Let’s start at the beginning. In Star Wars Episode One, a weak supreme chancellor (Finis Valorum played by Terence Stamp) was overthrown because of his ineffective governing skills, only to be succeeded by Senator Palpatine, a powerful, secretly radical fanatic who shared the full support of the senate.

Sound familiar? Replace Valorum with Manmohan Singh and you’ll start to see the rest of the storyline come together. The galaxy under the rule of the evil galactic emperor that Palpatine would become bears something of a resemblance to the heavy-handed approach of the state and the Right ever since Narendra Modi came to power.

And the comparisons don’t just end there.

Darth Modi

Evil to some, divine to others; Darth Vader and Narendra Modi, these two are the most iconic characters in their respective stories. Their larger-than-life auras may enamour you at times, but the power they posses can scare the bejesus out of you. In the Star Wars saga, Vader was trained and later appointed by the evil emperor to lead the forces of the dark side. Narendra Modi too was nurtured by the RSS to take charge of the BJP. Both Vader and Modi have risen from rags to riches, with similar coming-from-nothing stories: While Modi used to sell tea, Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader was a six-year-old slave of Watto, a Toydarian junk dealer.

Rahul Skywalker

I know the Star Wars fan community is going to hate me for this but when we first meet Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: A New Hope, he is a useless young boy, not very bright and the only consequential aspect of his life is his last name. Sounds familiar? Although, when it comes to Rahul Gandhi, that continues to be the case. Luke wasn’t good at anything until he is trained to be a Jedi. But one thing was always certain; he was good at heart, as can be said about Rahul Baba. He means well, even if he can’t quite get anything done. Whether Rahul can make his own transition into Jedi status remains to be seen.

Priyanka Skywalker – Princes Leia

C’mon, it was a given, right? If Rahul is Luke, Priyanka had to be Leia. And not just because they are siblings, but she does posses the grace and the intelligence and many would say the hotness of Princess Leia. Now, the big question: who would be Han Solo and Chewbacca?

Nitish Kumar and Lalu Prasad Yadav – Han and Chewie

Offended? Well, think hard. Much like Han Solo and Chewbacca, Nitish and Lalu don’t care for the evil empire much, they do their own thing. In the movies, Han and Chewie are somewhat like smugglers who become involved in the Rebel Alliance that opposes the Galactic Empire,much  like how Nitish left the NDA alliance and teamed up with Janata Dal United, which stands against Narendra Modi and the BJP.

They are very grey characters, essentially self-centred and always looking for their own profit, no matter what consequence it may have on others.

I know that saying Nitish is Han Solo means that he and Priyanka hook-up as Han and Leia did in the movies, which can’t happen in reality. (That said, the Congress and Nitish Kumar’s Janata Dal United are currently allies, so it is a political hook-up, if nothing else).

Mulayam Singh – Jabba the Hutt

Jabba, one of the most influential gangsters in the galaxy compared to Mulayam? For those of you who don’t know, Jabba is depicted as a large, slug-like alien. I have often thought of Mulayam Singh as a cross between a toad and the Cheshire Cat and when the two are sitting down, it’s hard to differentiate between Mulayam and Jabba, don’t you think?

Jabba’s role in Star Wars is primarily antagonistic; he is the most powerful crime boss in Tatooine, who has a bounty on Han Solo’s head, so clearly Han and Jabba don’t get along. Meanwhile, Mulayam’s relations with Lalu and Nitish are no better. Right before the Bihar assembly elections, he not only asked Bihar voters to vote for anyone but those two (Lalu and Nitish) and but also called them frauds.

Jabba also employs a retinue of criminals, bounty hunters, smugglers, assassins and bodyguards to operate his criminal empire. Sounds a lot like how Mulayam has operated Samajwadi Party in UP using his thugs to terrorise the people in his state time and again.

Also, in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Jabba took Princess Leia captive and made her wear the golden bikini for her to entice him. How is that similar to Mulayam? We have all heard or read about that infamous call recording between former SP leaders Amar Singh and Jayaprada (former Bollywood actress), where Singh expressly tells Jaya to wax her legs since Bhaisahab (Mulayam) likes it better. Whatever you make of it, is your business. However, it seems like both Jabba and Mulayam have a weak spot for the ladies.

Amit Shah – Boba Fett

If Modi is Vader, his silent enforcer (Boba Fett) has to be Amit Shah. Since Shah does all of Modi’s work silently, behind the scenes, this comparison is possibly the most accurate. Boba Fett on many occasions made it possible that Vader is able to crush the rebels. Similarly, if it wasn’t for Shah, Modi-led BJP would have never won UP and Bihar to achieve a total majority government.

Pranab Mukherjee – Master Yoda

There are just too many similarities between these two characters. Both are short, have much experience and wisdom since they have been around forever, but most importantly, they both talk in a funny manner. The most recent incident is when Pranab-da left the Israelis puzzled after he said that the Indian population “enjoys the taste of hummus”, which is an Israeli favourite. He pronounced it as “Hamas”, which had Israeli politicians looking at each other for a moment. I think Yoda would have said: “Losing his mind, Pranab-da is. Hummus, not Hamas called it is.”

Arvind Kejriwal and Anna – R2D2 and C3PO

While the two Star Wars droids are not a central figure but assist the rebellion against the galactic empire, much like AAP leader Arvind Kejriwal and social activist Anna Hazare are doing in their regions. So, both duos in their respective story line have managed to carve themselves as important characters in their universe. C3PO is the more righteous and ethical character, hence he is more likely to be compared to Anna, while R2D2 is the more devious and opportunistic droid who gets the job done, that sounds a lot like Kejriwal, doesn’t it? Also, in the movies, the two never reach on an agreement on pretty much anything and C3PO is often giving lessons on ethics to R2D2, which is true in the case of Anna and Kejriwal.

Smriti Irani – Senator Padme Amidala

Ideally, Padme should be Indira Gandhi since in the movies, she is the mother of Luke and Leia. But can you imagine Modi (Vader) and her hooking up and what that would have meant for India? To start with, Padme was the Queen of Naboo who chose to give up her throne and to serve as the senator for her people. Similarly, Smriti Irani, who was the queen of the television world until the early 2000s, gave up her acting career and joined politics, apparently to serve the people of India.

Ok fine, we know that Padme and Anakin are a couple and Modi called Smriti Irani his younger sister but the world isn’t perfect and some creative liberties are allowed.

Digvijay Singh – Jar Jar Binks

There couldn’t have been a more obvious comparison. Both characters are ridiculous and annoying but now that they are part of their respective universes, you can’t really get rid of them. So, you just have to turn a blind eye to them as if they don’t exist. Jar Jar in the movies and Digvijay in real life say the stupidest of things but they are like that annoying uncle we have — can’t get rid of him so you just have to accept him since, at the end of it, he is family. It is safe to say that Digvijay is the same for Congress.

Mohan Bhagwat – The Evil Galactic Emperor/Senator Palpatine

It is true that in public opinion Narendra Modi and Darth Vader are the most menacing characters in their respective universes. But behind the scenes, a stronger power exists that is handling these two characters. In Star Wars, the emperor is the one who is the all-powerful and the one person Vader answers to. Similarly, it is actually RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat, who controls all the right-wing power in India.

Now that the latest offering in the Star Wars series, The Force Awakens, will be available in India only a week later, we hope this list will serve as some consolation to all the fans.