Welcome back to India, sirji.

Poor Yuvraj Singh. He thought fighting a battle against cancer was tough. He had no idea… the real battle was getting out of IGI airport alive while being subjected to a feeding frenzy by the ‘welcoming’ journos. As the NDTV lady crowed, ‘haan yahaan ek do fan bhi moujood hain media ke saath (Yes, there are a few fans here along with the media).’

A convalescing hero lands in India, recovering from chemotherapy, jet-lagged and accompanied by his mother, and what does our media do to him? They pretty much bay for his blood and mob him with about 400 cameras in his face, pushing and shoving to get to his car.  A crazy car chase across Delhi follows, live on every channel. Has everyone forgotten Lady Diana? Do we have to wait for it to happen again? And this time the Indian media can take credit. All the bloody channels seemed to be there, except Cartoon Network.

And all this in the wake of the ‘perceived media excess’ cases being referred to by the  Constitution Bench of the Supreme Court – which had initially raised my hackles. But after seeing scenes like these on TV, I agree. We need guidelines because we Indians seem to have no sense of privacy, personal space or basic decorum, and seem to be unaware of where to draw the line.

I really wish Yuvi had given all of them the collective finger. I’m sorry for you, man. You deserve better. But I’m sorry, ‘hamari ek camera team aapke ghar ke bahar bhi hai.’ And we know what you’re eating – gobi ka paratha, according to the NDTV private eyes. Will let you know whether the dishes are washed on time as well.